have you thanked your body today?

The biggest hurdle for me on this whole weight loss journey is my self esteem. I know this and working on it is as pleasant of an idea as having a cavity filled without Novocain.

I’ve watched and listened to so much Jillian and Bob in the last couple weeks that I cannot even begin to guess where this came from, but at one point there was discussion about looking in the mirror and being positive. At the time the smart aleck voice in my head said “the only thing I’m positive about is that I don’t wanna look in the mirror!”

This morning, after I got out of the shower, I made myself look in the mirror and say thank you to my body from top to bottom. As a side note, I’ve been obese starting after 1st grade. Since then, I’ve never been normal sized. Fifteen years ago I was involved in a head on car crash (guy fell asleep at the wheel and hit me head on, breaking both legs and my left arm.) I was fat when I was in the crash, I’ve remained fat, but I had the added challenge of having my left leg over 2 inches shorter than my right and my left arm is … well … unique. The impact broke my elbow, but the bone never healed above the joint. I have what is technically called a “non-union with a fibrous tissue joint.” In layman’s terms, I have a jacked up arm that can bend in any direction (awesome party trick!) but I can’t do things like put all my weight on it or lift it over my head. Gravity wins, Karen loses.

The reason I give the background is because I’ve had the additional self loathing because of all the things I can’t do because I’m fat and physically handicapped. Even coming to Jillian’s website bummed me out at first because I can’t do the workouts. For a long time I’ve looked at my body and picked it all apart. Today is different.

Thank you to my body …

Thank you head for having a warm smile, attentive ears, watchful eyes, and a brain that works pretty well most of the time.

Thank you neck for holding up my head and for being one of the only places that didn’t take back fat when I regained it!

Thank you shoulders for being strong and able to bear both the mental and physical weight of my world.

Thank you right arm for being so strong and being the anchor of my entire body.

Thank you left arm for working so hard and being such a miracle for me. I get really mad at you some times, but I need to remember to step back and appreciate all that I’ve gotten back with you through surgery, therapy, and just plain stubbornness.

Thank you chest … well … for not completely disappearing. I know, you are on your way out as the weight goes, but seriously, could you stay a b-cup?

Thank you stomach for keeping me warm in the winter. (This was a stretch, what really do you thank your fat rolls for???)

Thank you butt for keeping my pants up. I’m thankful for the strong muscles there that let me know when they’ve had a good workout by making it uncomfortable to sit.

Thank you right leg for working so hard to compensate for shorty over there on the left. Thank you left leg for fighting to work just as hard as the right.

Thank you to my legs as a pair for recovering and still fighting. You may be full of battle scars, but you hold me up even though I was told I wouldn’t walk again. You even let me try silly things like jumping and jogging and only scream in protest a little bit!

When I finished this, I looked back up in the mirror, surprised to see tears flowing down my face. I wasn’t sad though, I was happy. Today I realized that my body is an amazingly strong vessel and that while I may never ever be able to take a conventional route to health and fitness, I will blaze my own path and I will own it.

So have you thanked your body today?