kicking my own ass

While playing around with facebook this morning I realized Bob Harper has a page. I wasn't sure if it was the real Bob or not Bob, but checking out the friend list made me think it was THE BOB.

I asked him to be my friend *insert 1st grade grin*

He said yes!

In my waiting time and poking around time I found Bob's website. Whaaa? Bob has a website? I of course joined.

I'm giddy having both Bob and Jillian just a click away ...

but ...

I'm kind of ... no ... I completely am ... pissed and angry .... and whatever else I can throw at myself ... for being where I am now ...

I've watched Biggest Loser every season. I've been like a student hanging on the lecturers' ever words. I've fantasied a million times about how if only I had Jillian or Bob as a trainer ...

So here I am, fortunate to have had Jillian Michael HERSELF talk to me and give me a membership to her website. Then to frost my cupcake I find Bob's free website.

And I can't say that I've given even 50% of the effort I should be giving.

Is that just another way of proving subconsciously that I'm worthless?

That crap so has to quit.

Jillian believed in me enough to give me a treasure. Right now I need to embrace her faith in me until I find my own faith in myself.

Once upon a time

there was a scale at a gym. The scale was not very nice. When our heroine, Bittz, stepped on it yesterday it maliciously taunted her until it landed on 300 ...

POINT 1

Bittz was not amused.

Bittz is still not amused.

Bittz is ready to do something about this.